One of the fundamental responsibilities of parents (human and otherwise) is to teach their children to thrive in life. In the savannah, among lions, it’s called survival. In society, it’s called success. But when you’re an Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past (ASDP), you likely learned success and survival secrets from parents and other influential … Read more
We all have emotional buttons – those areas of sensitivity that, when touched, set our teeth on edge, make us bite our tongue before we say something that we can’t take back, force us to count to 5 or 10 or 75…whatever it takes to make sure our response is measured and reasonable. I’m not … Read more
When we were children just learning about life, the people with the most influence on our beliefs were the adults in our immediate circle – usually our parents, sometimes guardians, possibly other influential adults. But what if they were adult survivors of damaged pasts (ASDPs) themselves? The adults from their childhoods taught them harsh lessons … Read more
“I’m not an ASDP but…your message really resonated with me.” Yes, I’ve heard that before. I’ve read that before. Heck. Even I still have trouble admitting to one person, never mind a whole audience, that I’m an ASDP myself. There are times I still stumble over the acronym. Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past. But, … Read more
Healing at Work Did you see the recent announcement from the World Health Organization about how it has identified the workplace as a key source for burnout worldwide? When I first saw that article, my immediate reaction was, “Really? We needed a United Nations-funded study to come to that conclusion? Tell us something we don’t … Read more
“Life is difficult.” M. Scott Peck opened his 1983 book, The Road Less Traveled, with these three simple words. And all over the world, hundreds of thousands of readers opened this landmark book, read the first sentence, and exhaled. As universal as the experience of a difficult life might be, to see those words written … Read more
I am beginning to the spread the word about how to build a life of self-acceptance and joy, despite self-esteem wounds that so many of us bring into their adult lives. When I first began this research I specifically looked at adults whose childhoods were negatively impacted by parents and guardians who were alcoholics, narcissists, addicts, etc.
If you are an ASDP, chances are that you grew up with people telling you what’s wrong with you. Everyone’s past is different, of course. But because the ASDP childhood story is so riddled with toxic secrets, neglect, and sometimes even physical abuse, ASDPs’ parents and guardians had to find a way to justify their behavior.
When you think about it, a strong argument can be made that we begin our organizational training and development almost from birth. Our first bosses – our parents – first put us through an extensive orientation program. Then they layer on the skills and experiential learning required to perform satisfactorily in our new company – our family.