Authentic Joy at Work: How Your Career Can Help You Heal Your Life
As a society, we’re used to hearing negative messages about how our jobs and workplaces are hazardous to our health. There are endless studies about our worklife promotes stressful lifestyle habits, invades our restorative family and personal time, stresses us out through being at the mercy of toxic bosses and coworkers, compromises our privacy, etc. … Read more
Are Your Coworkers Treating You Like Their Emotional Dumping Ground?
One of our common experiences as adult survivors of a damaged past (ASDPs) is that, when it comes to friendships and work relationships, we often find ourselves in the “helper” role. Which can be a familiar place for us to be in emotionally. We unconsciously bring that role into our adult lives, especially at work, … Read more
Whoa! What Just Happened Here? When Everyday Workplace Interactions Come At You Hard
You know the feeling I’m just about to describe. You’ve been there too. You’re at work, and everything is going smoothly. You’re sailing through your day. Work is getting done. Meetings are productive and blessedly short. Everyone is smiling at each other. You can hear laughter in the halls. Your boss thinks you’re fantastic. And … Read more
“I’m Not An ASDP But…” Part 2: That Moment When You Discover That You’re One After All
(Disclaimer: If you’re an Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past (ASDP), some of what you will read below may feel familiar to you. But I also want to acknowledge the fact that your career success to date is as a result of a heroic effort to rise above your past. You have grown to be … Read more
When Friendly Advice Becomes Boundary-Busting Bossiness
One of the fundamental responsibilities of parents (human and otherwise) is to teach their children to thrive in life. In the savannah, among lions, it’s called survival. In society, it’s called success. But when you’re an Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past (ASDP), you likely learned success and survival secrets from parents and other influential … Read more
IRRATIONAL REACTIONS!!!!!! How to Protect Your Career From Blasts from the Past
We all have emotional buttons – those areas of sensitivity that, when touched, set our teeth on edge, make us bite our tongue before we say something that we can’t take back, force us to count to 5 or 10 or 75…whatever it takes to make sure our response is measured and reasonable. I’m not … Read more
The One Question That Can Change Everything for ASDPs
When we were children just learning about life, the people with the most influence on our beliefs were the adults in our immediate circle – usually our parents, sometimes guardians, possibly other influential adults. But what if they were adult survivors of damaged pasts (ASDPs) themselves? The adults from their childhoods taught them harsh lessons … Read more
“I’m Not an ASDP But….”: How Your Damaged Past May Be Blocking You From Your Joyful Future
“I’m not an ASDP but…your message really resonated with me.” Yes, I’ve heard that before. I’ve read that before. Heck. Even I still have trouble admitting to one person, never mind a whole audience, that I’m an ASDP myself. There are times I still stumble over the acronym. Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past. But, … Read more
5 Ways You Can Heal at Work
Did you see the recent announcement from the World Health Organization about how it has identified the workplace as a key source for burnout worldwide? When I first saw that article, my immediate reaction was, “Really? We needed a United Nations-funded study to come to that conclusion? Tell us something we don’t know.” When it … Read more
How Your Past Lives Rent Free in Your Present (Part 2)
“Life is difficult.” M. Scott Peck opened his 1983 book, The Road Less Traveled, with these three simple words. And all over the world, hundreds of thousands of readers opened this landmark book, read the first sentence, and exhaled. As universal as the experience of a difficult life might be, to see those words written … Read more
How Your Past Lives Rent-Free in Your Present (Part 1)
I am beginning to the spread the word about how to build a life of self-acceptance and joy, despite self-esteem wounds that so many of us bring into their adult lives. When I first began this research I specifically looked at adults whose childhoods were negatively impacted by parents and guardians who were alcoholics, narcissists, addicts, etc.
6 Ways Being an ASDP Makes You a Better HR Professional
If you are an ASDP, chances are that you grew up with people telling you what’s wrong with you. Everyone’s past is different, of course. But because the ASDP childhood story is so riddled with toxic secrets, neglect, and sometimes even physical abuse, ASDPs’ parents and guardians had to find a way to justify their behavior.
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