submark2

BE THE FIRST TO KNOW MY NEWS!

Sign up to start getting updates now, exclusive research news, and an exclusive free chapter from Healing at Work when it's ready!

I can't wait to see you!

Have you ever felt this way at work?

susans_mockup_new

Forthcoming Fall 2019

  • check2

    That despite outstanding performance, you believe you are never good enough.

  • check2

    That when people are talking about you behind your back, it’s always negative?

  • check2

    That it is your job to please others at all costs to our personal happiness.

  • check2

    That it’s somehow your fault if something goes wrong…or it’s up to you to find a way to fix it.

  • check2

    That when your boss is in a bad mood, it’s probably your fault and you’re automatically in trouble.

  • check2

    That someone else’s harsh, unfair, negative judgment of you and your performance is more legitimate than your own opinion of your value.

  • check2

    That you don’t deserve to tell people what you need or want, especially if your requests inconvenience others.

  • check2

    That you’re the only one who is crazy and in pain…and that you better hide your true self from the people you see every day.

Have you ever felt this way at work?

  • check2

    That despite outstanding performance, you believe you are never good enough.

  • check2

    That when people are talking about you behind your back, it’s always negative?

  • check2

    That it is your job to please others at all costs to our personal happiness.

  • check2

    That it’s somehow your fault if something goes wrong…or it’s up to you to find a way to fix it.

  • check2

    That when your boss is in a bad mood, it’s probably your fault and you’re automatically in trouble.

  • check2

    That someone else’s harsh, unfair, negative judgment of you and your performance is more legitimate than your own opinion of your value.

  • check2

    That you don’t deserve to tell people what you need or want, especially if your requests inconvenience others.

  • check2

    That you’re the only one who is crazy and in pain…and that you better hide your true self from the people you see every day.

susans_mockup_new

Forthcoming Fall 2019

If you are an Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past (ASDP) you know these feelings very well.  And, even though you thought as a child, “When I grow up, everything is going to be different,” you discover that you have carried your sadnesses, anxieties, people-pleasing perfectionism, and self-protective/self-destructive habits to work with you. If you started life in an unstable home where parents or caregivers were neglectful, overbearing, addicted, harshly critical and perfectionistic, narcissistic or in many, many other ways unreliable, you bring damaging beliefs about yourself, people, and the world into adulthood. Long after you’ve left your childhood home to begin a life of your own. You thought it was all in the past. It’s not.

Why Bumper Cars?

bumbpercar2

As ASDPs, we’re commonly caught up in our own pain, fears, confusions, beliefs about others, and emotional struggles as we try to work with others. That challenge can be so all-consuming that, in our focus on ourselves, we overlook the possibility that our coworkers might be ASDPs too.

This can lead to what I call “bumper car moments,” when two damaged pasts collide with each other in the course of a normal day. Misunderstandings, trust issues, perceived betrayals, even the way your coworker glances at you or speaks to you, can trigger a conflict – a hard bump when you least expect it.

Bumper car moments can be upsetting and discouraging, especially when you accidentally collide with a colleague. Learn to see them for what they are – two damaged pasts bumping into each other in the present. Then you both will be able to resolve the conflict with trust and compassion.

As ASDPs ourselves, and career experts, we know what it’s like to be you.

And we believe that the workplace can be where you can heal. People commonly look at work as a place of health-threatening stresses. But we see it as the place where you can learn new skills, new ways of looking at the world and your place in it, new, positive ways to interact with others. Because of the gifts of the workplace, you can rewrite your life’s experiences as a positive, inspiring adventure.

Work is where you can learn to blossom. And then you can take those lessons home to inspire and heal your family for generations that reach deep into the future.

We are writing Healing at Work: The Adult Survivor’s Guide to Using Career Conflicts to Overcome Your Past and Build the Future You Deserve just for you.

The rest of your life is yours.
Healing at Work will give you what you need to know to make it a life you love.

About the Authors

susan_squar

Susan J. Schmitt is a corporate HR executive with over 30 years’ global experience helping thousands of people around the world realize their dreams and manifest their potential through the work they do. Currently, she’s Group Vice President and head of Human Resources at Applied Materials, based in the San Francisco Bay area.

martha

Martha I. Finney is executive editor and publisher at Leadership Directions Media and the author/co-author of 26 books specializing in leadership and career management. When she’s not writing out of her cottage in the Santa Fe desert, she’s driving to Florida so she can write there instead.

© 2019 Susan J. Schmitt

© 2019 Susan J. Schmitt